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I used to be at a monastery in India on a retreat after I met the love of my life.

As I had been toying with becoming a nun; he was considering becoming a monk. We shared our passion for Spirit. He courted me by inviting me to see the Dalai Lama speak, and he kept singing “Oh Susanna.” Sparks flew.

After many months of deep practice and connection, we decided to forgo the monastic robes. Now we share a house, a toddler, a wedding—but not only any sort of relationship. We were intentional that we were going to approach our path as a spiritual one. Brahmacharya played a very important part.

Defining Brahmacharya

Brahmacharya has multiple meanings in yogic and vedic culture—and these meanings change based on context. The fourth yama, or moral restraint, within the Eight Limbs of yoga, brahmacharya is commonly defined as “celibacy” or “moderation.” Like most yogic concepts, it’s rather more nuanced than that.

The Sanskrit word brahmacharya comes from brah meaning “expansion (of consciousness)” and charya, which implies “path” or “to follow.” Brahma can be the name of the Hindu god representing creation. The total meaning of brahmacharya, then, is to follow the trail of Brahma or expansion of consciousness.

Within the Hindu, Jain, and Buddhist traditions, brahmacharya can confer with the entire renunciation of sex, marriage, and other material pleasures. It could also confer with the practice of virtue and describe managing one’s various energies toward the aim of becoming one’s highest self. It means utilizing your life-force energy—including your actions, your movements, your breath, your sexuality—to your highest goals. Overall, we are able to accurately understand brahmacharya as “energy management” or “aligned use of energy.”

Brahmacharya can be the term for the primary of the 4 age-based life stages, or ashramas, in Hindu culture. At this primary stage—the age of study and learning—your entire energy is to be conserved and used to deal with gaining knowledge through education. That features managing life force, sexuality, even breath. A one who commits to this practice known as a brahmachari.

Traditionally, brahmacharya encourages practitioners to make use of their life-force energy for a better or more spiritual purpose, reasonably than for simply satisfying pleasure or external desires. That’s where the celibacy interpretation is available in. A worth-based, virtuous lifestyle can include celibacy for people at the scholar stage of life or for somebody who has chosen a monastic or renunciate path. But once you move beyond the scholar stage—or for those who aren’t planning to turn into a monk—there are still many possibilities for applying brahmacharya.

How I Put Brahmacharya Into Practice

My exploration of brahmacharya happened directly on the intersection of its many alternative definitions.

During our first summer together, when my partner and I were within the honeymoon phase of early love, we traveled to the romantic landscape of Europe. Within the midst of France’s gourmet restaurants and world-class wineries, we spent weeks camping in vineyards—completely sober, eating vegan, and practicing yoga, meditation, and noble silence. It was a joyful and amazing practice of brahmacharya.

Later, after we met with challenges in our interracial relationship, we turned back to yoga ethics to ground us. I’ve found that being in relationship sometimes also means being in conflict. Having tools, values, and guidelines for managing the energy of those conflicts has helped preserve love, kindness, understanding, and a long-term, mutually supportive relationship.

The practice of brahmacharya eventually transferred to our parenting together. I never thought I’d marry or have children. I used to be too afraid to lose myself. What I began to see in a love relationship built on this philosophical foundation, is that I may very well be myself and even grow more fully, while engaging with others. That’s brahmacharya in balance.

Practicing Brahmacharya to Create Boundaries

In every day life, brahmacharya often looks like practical spiritual considerations around boundaries and energy management. Say, for instance, a friend invites you to socialize but you actually feel like curling up with an excellent book. In these moments, I practice brahmacharya by tuning in to what I actually need. I do what’s aligned with that. After which, I practice satya, truthfulness, by saying something like, “My dear friend, I do know this party is very important to you, but it surely isn’t right for me to return presently. Can we get tea later this week so we are able to connect?”

This fashion, I’ve honored my reference to the person in addition to my very own energy. This sort of self reflection, energy awareness, and communication is a relentless dance in the sensible application of brahmacharya.

Brahmacharya Involves Give and Take

Sometimes brahmacharya looks as if the alternative of reserving energy. I experience it as a dance of giving and receiving. There are methods that giving to others nourishes their energy and my very own. Here, brahmacharya spills over from concerns which can be just personal to being in reference to others and with the universal.

We are able to practice brahmacharya on the planet—conducting our lives in such a way that we’re “walking in presence of the divine god.” After we are in alignment with our energy, compassionate motion often flows forth.

How Are You Practicing Brahmacharya?

Bringing mindfulness to your energy and observing where your life force energy flows is powerful because your energy is so precious. What are you able to release to regain intimacy together with your energy and direct it towards your and others’ highest good? To explore the best way to bring the practice of brahmacharya into your individual life, listed here are some inquiries to ask yourself. Consider the ways you could imagine and start to work together with your precious life-force energy.

• What gives you energy? What drains it?
• What is very important to you to spend your energy on?
• What do you would like without delay?
• What does the world need from you?
• Are there areas of your life where there are energy “leaks”? Are you continuously scrolling social media, poring over countless to-do lists, or attending to tiresome obligations that don’t truly serve anyone?
• Are you invested in being a “savior”? Do you are attempting to “help” people in ways in which don’t truly serve them otherwise you?
• Are you involved in relationships which can be one-sided, toxic, or otherwise harmful to your spirit?
• How will you give less energy to negative attachments, and revel in more things that nourish and support you and others?

About our contributor

Susanna Barkataki is the founding father of Ignite Institute for Yogic Leadership and Social Change. She helps yoga teachers, studios, nonprofits, and businesses turn into leaders in equity, diversity, and yogic values in order that they embody thriving yoga leadership with integrity and confidence. Learn more and get the Honor Yoga Manifesto at susannabarkataki.com.