SALT LAKE CITY — Dropping off a university freshman is a bittersweet moment. Your child’s world is about to alter and so is yours, and that could be hard to absorb for a few of us.
For Healthy Mind Matters, an authority from the Huntsman Mental Health Institute offers some recommendations on the way to survive this next phase of parenthood.
It’s a day Lisa Lamb has dreaded and embraced.
“I spent a lot of the morning crying, but I’ve pulled it together now.”
She’s dropping her daughter, Emma, off on the University of Utah.
“I’m moving her into her dorm,” Lamb said. “Freshman 12 months. First time away from home.”
The moment happens in a flash. Lamb worries she missed something necessary.
“The concerns are all the time did you teach them enough? Are they prepared? And can they make good decisions?”
Dr. Torrence Wimbish is with the Huntsman Mental Health Institute and works closely with students on the University of Utah.
“Your role will change together with your child, and your student will change,” he said.
He suggests parents do these three things when their child starts college.
First, allow them to struggle. Don’t jump in to unravel every crisis.
“They’re going to fail at something and make mistakes and that’s OK,” Wimbish said.
Second, limit every day communication – this includes texts.
“Resist the urge to hover,” Wimbish said. “That’s a troublesome one for plenty of parents because you ought to call each day and inspect them.”
Lamb agreed.
“It’s time to back away, which is the toughest thing a mother is asked to do, in my view,” she said.
Third, allow yourself time to be sad. Every day you’ll feel a distinct emotion. But over time, it gets easier.
“Give attention to your life. Give attention to a piece project, whatever that is perhaps. Give attention to relationships, partnerships, marriages,” Wimbish said.
Lamb said she’s sad to depart her daughter behind, but she’s able to let go.
“You raise them for this moment to be on their very own and succeed and find their very own path, but she’s very independent,” Lamb said. “She must be unbelievable!”
Wimbish said it’s necessary to let kids know that you simply are there for them.
And in the event that they need extra support, check with their schools and discover what resources can be found on campus.