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As an introvert, I actually have nothing but nice things to say about living alone. The thermostat is about to my comfort, I can play my music at whatever decibel suits me, and I can at all times be assured that the last slice of pizza is mine. But while I cherish my independence, there are occasions when having the support of one other person can be welcomed. There’s nothing to remind you that you just’re on your personal like attempting to clasp your personal bracelet.
In American culture, where independence is very valued and even romanticized, we wish to do our own thing in our own way. This will make it hard to ask for or accept help. But, because the song goes, “all of us need any person to lean on.”
Why we’d like support
Social support is critical to our well-being. Individuals who have people they’ll count on are likely to have higher physical and mental health. In keeping with research, social isolation and loneliness have been related to higher risks for conditions resembling hypertension, heart disease and obesity, in addition to anxiety, depression, and cognitive decline. The correlation between social support and mental health is particularly acute for ladies, older adults, and students, some studies suggests.
For a lot of us, it’s not that we don’t have a support system; it’s that we’re not taking note of where our support is coming from. Negativity bias may cause us to focus more on the individuals who don’t “have your back” than on the positive support group that does.
In some cases, fierce independence may very well be a trauma response. If people in your life have been untrustworthy or the source of harm, your fear of being hurt again may make you unconsciously proof against asking for help, or cause you to refuse help that’s offered.
What yoga philosophy says about support
In case your sense of pride keeps you from asking for help, which may be an invite to contemplate the yoga concept of asmita, which will be translated as ego attachment. That could make you should hold too tightly to an “I got this!” attitude. While confidence and self-sufficiency are actually desirable traits, the principles of yoga encourage us to cultivate humility that means that you can accept and appreciate gifts of assistance and support.
“The most effective antidotes to this tendency is to practice expanding our sense of self by including others in our personal territory,” writes Sally Kempton in a Yoga Journal essay. That will mean offering a kindness or seva (service) to someone. But it will possibly also mean being open to accepting offerings from others.
You could cultivate this openness by meditating on the well-being of yourself and others. Try Tonglen meditation, which translates as “giving and taking” or “sending and receiving.” “It’s a practice that encapsulates loving kindness, compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, and generosity,” says yoga and meditation teacher Jacobi Ballard.
See also: How Tonglen Meditation Can Help You Construct a Loving Relationship to the World
Your asana practice can support you along the way in which. The sequence below offers familiar poses against the wall as a subtle reminder that support is offered. In yoga, as in life, practicing this manner doesn’t mean you won’t have challenges. The poses require similar muscle strength, mobility, and balance as poses practiced in the midst of a room. But having the wall as a steadying, supportive touch point could make for a robust, rewarding practice.
A yoga practice on the wall
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Chaturanga Dandasana (4-Limbed Staff Pose)
Face the wall together with your toes just a few inches away. Bend your elbows and place your fingertips on the wall at waist height. Bring your upper arms in near your sides, together with your elbows pointing back. Allow your shoulder blades to maneuver down and in toward one another. Root your feet into the bottom, engage your abs, and lengthen your spine in Chaturanga. Level your chin parallel to the ground and solid your gaze barely down. Stay for 3-5 breaths.
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Bhujangasana (Cobra Pose)
From Chaturanga on the wall, step forward in order that your toes are touching the wall. Keep your hands at chest level. Press your chest toward as you lift your sternum up, barely arching your back in Cobra. Look up toward the ceiling but keep space along the back of your neck. Stay for 3-5 breaths.
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Sphinx Pose
From Cobra on the wall, walk your hands up and place your forearms on the wall together with your elbows a bit higher than your shoulders. Press your hips toward the wall as you lift your sternum and take an excellent deeper arch in your back in Sphinx Pose. Look up, keeping length along the back of your neck and an excellent curve along your spine. Stay for 3-5 breaths.
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Forearm Plank
From Sphinx Pose on the wall, step back the space of 1 foot, keeping your forearms on the wall. Engage your abs, lift your heels off the ground, and are available onto your tiptoes. Press into the wall together with your arms, finding space between your shoulder blades. Gaze straight ahead on the wall in Forearm Plank. Take 3-5 breaths, then lower your heels.
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward-Facing Dog Pose)
Step back 2-3 feet from the wall. Set your feet hip distance apart and press your feet into the ground. Hinge at your hips and fold forward halfway, reaching your arms out long to position your hands on the wall, fingers pointing up. Adjust your stance as needed in order that your arms are fully prolonged, your back is long, and your hips, knees, and heels are stacked. Your torso and legs will form a right angle as in Downward-Facing Dog Pose. Gaze straight down and breathe 3-5 times. If you end up ready, step forward, release your hands, and return to standing.
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Tadasana (Mountain Pose)
From Down Dog on the wall, turn and stand together with your back to the wall. Step your feet hip-width apart and an inch or two away from the wall. Your glutes, shoulder blades, and the back of your head may graze the wall. Reach the crown of your head toward the ceiling, calm down your shoulders away out of your ears, and permit your hands to succeed in toward the ground, palms facing away from the wall in Mountain Pose. Breathe. Make note that you just are supported by the wall, but not leaning your weight into it. Breathe.
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Virabhadrasana III (Warrior 3 Pose)
Step away from the wall roughly 2-3 feet. Place your feet hip-width apart and set a block at the skin of every foot. Keeping your back long, begin to lean forward and lift your left leg straight back so your body is one long line. Adjust your stance as needed, in order that the only real of your foot could make full contact with the wall. Press your foot against it, toes down, in Warrior 3 Pose. Reach down and rest each hand on a block.
For more challenge, release one hand, then the opposite from the blocks and convey them into Anjali mudra at your heart, out to the edges parallel to the ground, or extend them back toward your feet.
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Parsvottanasana (Pyramid Pose or Intense Side Stretch)
From Warrior 3, lower your right leg and place your right foot on the ground together with your heel on the wall. Adjust your left foot in order that your feet are 2-3 feet apart. Fold forward and place your fingertips on the ground or blocks in Pyramid Pose. Take 3-5 breaths.
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward-Facing Dog Pose)
From Pyramid, shift your weight into your hands and step your left leg back to fulfill the correct on the wall. Walk your hands forward as needed to make the form of Down Dog. If you end up ready, bend your knees, take a step forward, and walk your hands toward your feet to return right into a standing forward fold. Roll as much as return to Tadasana and repeat Warrior 3 Pose, Pyramid Pose, and Down Dog on the other side.
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Utkatasana (Chair Pose)
Stand a couple of foot from the wall facing away from it. Bend your knees and reach your tailbone back until your backside touches the wall. Engage your abs as you lengthen your spine to create space in your lower back. Lean barely forward and lift your hands up parallel together with your ears in Chair Pose. Stay for 3-5 breaths, using the wall as a touch point, but not leaning your weight on it.
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Malasana (Garland Pose)
From Chair, step your feet a bit wider and switch your toes out. Bring your hands to Anjali mudra at your heart. Bend your knees more deeply and lower your body down right into a squat. Allow your glutes to graze the wall and supply support as you lower toward the ground. Adjust your feet as needed, supporting yourself by pressing your hips back into the wall or placing your hands on the ground in front of you in Malasana. Once you’re ready, lower your hips all of the method to the ground to sit down together with your back against the wall.
(Photo: Andrew Clark. Clothing: Calia)
Dandasana (Staff Pose)
Extend your legs straight in front of you, bringing your feet about hip-distance apart, flexed together with your toes pointing toward the ceiling. Adjust your position so that you just are sitting evenly in your sit bones and the upper a part of your glutes are involved with the wall. Your shoulder blades and the back of your head may graze the wall. Reach the crown of your head toward the ceiling to elongate your spine and place your palms on the ground alongside your hips. Engage your thighs and abs, move your shoulders down away out of your ears, and sit tall and erect together with your gaze solid toward your feet in Dandasana. Stay here for five or more breaths.
If you end up ready, take a deep breath and, on an exhalation, calm down your muscles, close your eyes, and convey your hands to rest in your thighs or in your lap. Sit and breathe for just a few moments until you’re able to end your practice.